family counselling and its Techniques

 
Family counselling helps you to understand and cope better with the stresses and strains of family life. Families can be a source of support, encouragement and love but sometimes relationships within families are put under strain and family members feel isolated or overlooked. Family counselling can help when siblings aren’t getting on, or parents and children are going through a divorce or separation. Forming a new family is a challenge and it is at this point that many parents contact Relate for some support to help everyone settle.

Family counseling is a type of psychotherapy that may have one or more objectives. Family counseling may help to promote better relationships and understanding within a family. It may be incident specific, as for example family counseling during a divorce, or the approaching death of a family member. Alternately family counseling may address the needs of the family when one family member suffers from a mental or physical illness that alters his or her behavior or habits in negative ways.

Family counseling often occurs with all members of the family unit present. This may not always be the case. A family member who suffers from alcoholism or drug addiction might not attend sessions, and might actually be the reason why other family members seek out family counseling.

Part of the goal of the therapist is to observe interactions between family members. Another part is to observe the perception of non-interacting family members. Thus if two family members get into an argument in a session, the therapist might want to know how the other family members are dealing with the disagreement or the way in which the two fighting members comport themselves.

In addition to observation, the therapist often helps the family reflect on better ways of communicating with each other. So family counseling may in part be instruction and encouragement. In fact, family counseling often teaches family members new and more positive ways to communicate to replace old, negative communication patterns.

Observations may also be used to point out how poor communication, especially when particularly filled with strife, affects the behavior and happiness of children. Children benefit from the safe forum of a session. They may get to for discuss the things they don’t like about behavior of caregivers and/or siblings. Such discussion might not be permitted in the home setting.

As in group counseling, the therapist also acts as moderator in family counseling. He or she attempts to ensure that each family member gets fair time for expressing concerns and contributing to the conversation as to how the family can do better. Sometimes the therapist may identify one or more family members who need more than the family counseling model, and might benefit from individual therapy. The personal issues of one member of a family may affect all other family members.

The therapist may identify that the family cannot progress to a better relationship format without some individuals receiving more help, and possibly medication. A family member with a bipolar chemistry may want to be a better parent, but may be physically unable to change radical mood swings without a combination of individual therapy and medication.

Family counseling may not take a long time to complete. Often families benefit from four to five sessions. Sometimes families require more help and might need 20-30 sessions to resolve significant or ongoing family issues.

For families, family counseling often helps because it involves a disinterested third party who does not favor any one member of the family. This is generally why a therapist for one family member will not agree to be a family counselor for the client’s family. Display of partiality can render family counseling ineffective.

Different theoretical models exist in family counseling. A therapist may work from a behavioral stance, from Gestalt principals, or from a combination of therapeutic approaches. Whatever the approach, the main goal continues to be to improve the relationship of each family member to the others, so that the family progresses as a harmonious unit. Family counselling benefits the whole family by helping everyone to say how they are feeling. Family counselling can help reduce conflict which means fewer rows at home and can help everyone cope better with their situation.

Below are some widely used techniques in family counseling:

In home Observations

This is a fairly new technique where the family therapists actually live with the family for a few days. This enables the therapist to observe family interactions first hand and allows them to meet their clients real needs better.

Communication Skill Building

Good communication skills are the basic foundation for a healthy family environment. Any trial that a family member goes through will affect the rest of the family either positively or negatively depending on their communication skills.

Families that face one crisis after another will soon break down if they do not know how to communicate with each other.

The family therapist will focus on communication patterns between family members. During sessions the family members will be encouraged to take turns expressing their feelings, while the other family members practice listening without judging the other persons actions and statements.

Reframing

Therapists use this technique in order to present different perspectives of family problems. Reframing is an attempt at turning negative behaviors into positive behaviors.

For example a daughter may see her parent as untrusting if the parent repeatedly questions her behavior after a date. In reframing the daughter can be shown that the parents actions are out of love and concern.

Tracking

Tracking is a technique widely used by most therapists. Some therapists see it as an essential part of family counseling.

The therapist listens intently to family stories told by each member of the family. The therapist then records the events in order to identify the sequence of events. At this time the therapist will be able to design interventions between the various points.

Family photos are an excellent way for a therapist to determine how the family functions in the present s well as in the past. Family members look at memorable photos as they talk about them. The therapist is able to gather verbal and nonverbal actions between the family members. It also reveals family relationships, customs, roles and communication patterns.

Genogram

The genogram provides an enormous amount of insight for the therapist. This technique should be used early in family therapy. The genogram provides a graphic picture of the family history which reveals the families basic structure and demographics.

A genogram is a family history listing three generations, including names, dates of birth, death, marriage, divorce, and other relevant facts.

Family floor plan

This technique should also be done during the beginning stages of counseling. Family members are requested to draw a floor plan of their home. They are asked to remember the sounds, colors, odors and people in the house. While they are drawing specific questions are asked about the environment such as;

·        What room does the family gather in?

·        What conversations take place in the various rooms?

·        Are any rooms restricted or off limits?

·        Where do guests gather?

This technique will reveal the comfort levels between family members, space accommodations and rules. It can also indicate family triangles and subsystems. Discussions often bring out meaningful issues related to ones past.

Family Sculpting

Family sculpting provides recreation for the family. Family members are asked to physically arrange the family representing relationships to one another at a specific period of time. Children often make good sculptors as they are able to non-verbally communicate their thoughts and feelings this way.

Family Choreography

This technique goes beyond family sculpting. Family members are asked to show how they would like to see the family situation as well as the way they see it in the present. They may be asked to reenact current family situations and then re-sculpt them to the preferred scene.

The Empty Chair

In this technique a family member will express their feelings to another member – the empty chair. The family member then will play the role of the other person and carry on a dialogue. Expressions to absent family, parents, and children can be arranged through utilizing this technique.

Family Council Meetings

This is simply an organized family meeting. The family is there to share and discuss any concerns they have. The goal is to find a solution together. It is important that all family members attend. Set a specific time to meet and have rules that all must abide by: i.e. Attacking others is not acceptable. Often times family therapists will prescribe Family Council Meetings as homework for the family.

Strategic Alliances

This technique involves the therapist meeting with one member of the family as a means of helping that person change. When each person changes their individual perspectives and outlooks, it enables the entire family system to change. This technique attempts to disrupt a circular system or behavior pattern.

Prescribing Indecision

Faulty decision making increases the stress level of families. Not making decisions becomes more problematic. The therapist encourages the family to reframe the indecisive behavior – decision is showed as caring and taking appropriate time on important matters. The head of the family is directed not to rush into anything or to make hasty decisions.

Putting the Client in Control

This technique places control into the hands of each individual or the head of the family. For example if a family member has a problem with anxiety – Specific directives are given as to when, where, and with whom, the person can exhibit their anxiety or worries. A time limit is also set. In time the client begins to feel in control which results in a positive change.

Caring Days

Families can get stuck in behavior cycles, become bored with each other, and take little time for one another. When this happens members of the family feel unappreciated, unloved, and taken for granted.

With this technique the family sets aside days where they are asked to show that they care. This can be done by giving a specific a special day, or by family outings and mini vacations.

In Conclusion …

Remember that all therapists are different. Family counselors customize their techniques according to their training, beliefs and that of the family they are counseling. When choosing a counselor check out their skills in handling the problems your family is facing. If you are a religious person, you may want to find a counselor that has the same beliefs as you. It’s a good idea to interview more than one counselor to find a good fit for you and your family.